Friday Musings - A "Catch 22" or is it?

I heard a story the other day about how a young unemployed man had been to collect his unemployment benefit and had lost it before he had a chance to spend it. Naturally enough he was very upset as he was then without any money until his next benefit payment was due two weeks later.

He went to the local police station to report the missing money, alleging that it had been stolen. The police questioned the young man, who grew increasingly angry and aggressive. 

B......er Off!

The police did not believe his story and would not give him a report number. The young man then went to the unemployment office who could do nothing to help him replace the lost money without a police report number. A "Catch 22" situation. 

Life puts us into situations where we have to face the things that we need to learn most and until we learn the lesson and change, we will keep drawing the same sorts of experiences to us.

Anger and aggression is always driven by fear of something.
And what we fear the most we draw to us. So that it is really important that we acknowledge the fear, heal it and release it.

So how could this young man have received a more helpful response from the police officer?
Before going to the police station to report the missing money, he could have:

• Gone home and allowed his emotions to cool down
• Dressed himself in the smartest cloths that he owns
• Accept that the police would question him about the incident and practice in his mind being calm and friendly (after all it is not the fault of the police that his money went missing)

Just imagine that you are a police officer and two men come in to report that they had had some money stolen.

One man is dressed in scruffy cloths, hair and beard are unkempt. His manner is angry and aggressive on being questioned about the incident. He behaves as if it is the police offer's fault that he lost his money.

The other man is dressed in a clean and tidy manner and he appears to take good care of himself. He is angry at having lost his money, but he is friendly, co-operative when questioned and does not take his anger out on the police officer. He is also appreciative of the effort that the police offer makes to try to help him.

Which man would you be inclined to believe? What would your perceptions be of each man? Would you believe the angry aggressive man or would you be more inclined to believe and be sympathetic towards the other man?

Something to think about.

Hilary Thompson

The Out and About Therapist

Flourishing Relationships Retreats

Sunday Musings - Dogs and People

I was back at Brighton Beach again this morning. It was a lovely warm and clear morning, a lovely day to get out and about. There were people swimming, walking, cycling, boating, fishing. Everyone enjoying a warm late spring morning at the beach.

People and Pets at Brighton Beach South Australia

Mates at the Beach

As it was still early there were many people exercising their dogs on the beach. The dogs are always so happy, chasing balls, running into the sea, meeting other dogs and generally having a great time. 
They seem to have smiles on their faces. There was no aggressive behaviour  between the dogs, they greeted each other as old friends.

It was the same with the people. People smiled at each other, said "Good Morning". One lady stopped me to make sure I had noticed the Dolphins swimming out from the beach. People stopped and chatted to each other. It was lovely.

So here's the thing. If we can be friendly with each other when we are walking on the beach on a Sunday morning, why can't we be friendly to each other all the time?

Are we all so afraid of other people being better than we are, having more than we have; or that someone might take something from us?

If that is the case then it is time we let go the fear and treat everyone as we would like to be treated ourselves.

Just imagine what a difference that would make to our relationships and our life.

Hilary Thompson
The Out and About Therapist
Facilitator at Flourishing Relationships Retreats

Foggy mornings and sunny afternoons

Do you ever feel like you are living in a fog? That is how I have been feeling lately.

Foggy Morning
Hilary Thompson

I had lost my focus and could not seem to find it anywhere. Very frustrating as I want to make some changes in my life, but as I felt like I was surrounded by fog, I could not see what to do or where I was going. 


A dear friend phoned me one day  and during the conversation I was complaining that I felt like I was stuck in a fog and not able to find my way out. 


My friend reminded me that all I had to do was to sit quietly and be totally honest with myself as to what I wanted in my life. 

So I sat quietly with a pen a paper to hand and asked myself "What do I really want in my life?"
I wrote down everything that came into my head.


I was then able to refine my list down to what was really important to me and what I was passionate about.

Sunshine & Daffodils
Hilary Thompson

As a result the fog cleared, the sun came out and my focus  returned. I am now back on track and feeling good again.


Need some help to find your focus and get back on track?


Contact me:
Hilary Thompson
The Out and About Therapist
Facilitator at Flourishing Relationships Retreat