Friday musings - Letting Go!

I was standing by my window watching the first of the autumn leaves fall, when it came to me that trees, unlike people, are very good at letting go.

Autumn leaves

The deciduous trees drop their leaves in autumn when the leaves have served their purpose, allowing new growth to happen in the spring. Gum trees let go and peel off their bark, allowing their “new skin” to show.

We all have times when we have to let go of something or someone.

We need to let go of jobs that are not fulfilling and enjoyable. We need to let go of relationships that are toxic and holding us back.

Parents need to let go of their children when they are grown, to allow them to make their own way in life.

We sometimes need to let go of a house in which we have lived for some time and move into more suitable accommodation. 

We need to let go of possessions that we have accumulated and no longer need and sometimes people or situations let go of us.

At another level, we need to let go of old beliefs and behavior patterns that are no longer serving us. It is important to let go of old resentments, angers, jealousies, hurts; old ways of thinking that keep us locked up in the past.

And sometimes we have to let go of someone that we love.

Bark peeling off a Gum tree

What stops us from “Letting Go”? Basically it is fear. Fear of what will happen to us if we let go. Fear of the unknown. Fear of being hurt and fear of being out of control. Fear of all sorts of real and imaginary things that keep us in a state of paralysis, and stop us from moving forward in our lives.

We know when we have to let go of something or someone. At least we know in our hearts that is what we need to do, but our minds often tell us something different. So we allow our mind to keep us holding on.

Does this make us happy? No it does not. In fact holding on can make us sick.

We need to listen to what is in our heart, what we know deep down is right for us and for others that may be involved. So there comes a time when we have to take a deep breath, conquer our fear and just Let Go.

Hilary Thompson

The Out and About Therapist

Sunday Musings - Dogs and People

I was back at Brighton Beach again this morning. It was a lovely warm and clear morning, a lovely day to get out and about. There were people swimming, walking, cycling, boating, fishing. Everyone enjoying a warm late spring morning at the beach.

People and Pets at Brighton Beach South Australia

Mates at the Beach

As it was still early there were many people exercising their dogs on the beach. The dogs are always so happy, chasing balls, running into the sea, meeting other dogs and generally having a great time. 
They seem to have smiles on their faces. There was no aggressive behaviour  between the dogs, they greeted each other as old friends.

It was the same with the people. People smiled at each other, said "Good Morning". One lady stopped me to make sure I had noticed the Dolphins swimming out from the beach. People stopped and chatted to each other. It was lovely.

So here's the thing. If we can be friendly with each other when we are walking on the beach on a Sunday morning, why can't we be friendly to each other all the time?

Are we all so afraid of other people being better than we are, having more than we have; or that someone might take something from us?

If that is the case then it is time we let go the fear and treat everyone as we would like to be treated ourselves.

Just imagine what a difference that would make to our relationships and our life.

Hilary Thompson
The Out and About Therapist
Facilitator at Flourishing Relationships Retreats

Fear - it can control your life if you let it!

Fear is an emotion that all of us feel at some stage in our lives. Even the bravest of us feel it, even if they don’t admit it.

I believe fear is what is at the bottom of all other “negative” emotions like anger, greed, jealousy, resentment, and even grief. And it is fear that stops us from achieving and being successful. It is fear that stops us from doing things that we want to do and being whom we want to be.

I know what I am talking about as I am an expert about fear. Fear has dogged me all my life and impacted on my success. However, I am determined that fear will no longer have control over my life.

My web site's new look

How do I do that? Once I have identified the fear, I use EFT and tap it away.

Here is an example: I had decided that my web site needed a new look and I was introduced to a new “do it yourself web site builder” created by Wix, with whom I had my original site. 

The challenge was to learn how to use their software. The fear that came up when I tried to start creating my new web site made me feel quite ill. So I sat and thought about it and realized that I was afraid that I was not capable of working out how to use the software.

I started tapping on releasing the fear that I was not able to build my new web site. Once I had released the fear, I went back to the computer, logged on to my account at Wix and spent the next three days creating my new web site. So here it is: www.theoutandabouttherapist.com

I am now feeling really pleased with myself about what I have achieved having conquered the fear.

The moral of this story: Face the fear and never let it stop you from doing what you want to do and being who you are.

Hilary Thompson
The Out and About Therapist
Facilitator at Flourishing Relationships Retreat