Friday Musings - A "Catch 22" or is it?

I heard a story the other day about how a young unemployed man had been to collect his unemployment benefit and had lost it before he had a chance to spend it. Naturally enough he was very upset as he was then without any money until his next benefit payment was due two weeks later.

He went to the local police station to report the missing money, alleging that it had been stolen. The police questioned the young man, who grew increasingly angry and aggressive. 

B......er Off!

The police did not believe his story and would not give him a report number. The young man then went to the unemployment office who could do nothing to help him replace the lost money without a police report number. A "Catch 22" situation. 

Life puts us into situations where we have to face the things that we need to learn most and until we learn the lesson and change, we will keep drawing the same sorts of experiences to us.

Anger and aggression is always driven by fear of something.
And what we fear the most we draw to us. So that it is really important that we acknowledge the fear, heal it and release it.

So how could this young man have received a more helpful response from the police officer?
Before going to the police station to report the missing money, he could have:

• Gone home and allowed his emotions to cool down
• Dressed himself in the smartest cloths that he owns
• Accept that the police would question him about the incident and practice in his mind being calm and friendly (after all it is not the fault of the police that his money went missing)

Just imagine that you are a police officer and two men come in to report that they had had some money stolen.

One man is dressed in scruffy cloths, hair and beard are unkempt. His manner is angry and aggressive on being questioned about the incident. He behaves as if it is the police offer's fault that he lost his money.

The other man is dressed in a clean and tidy manner and he appears to take good care of himself. He is angry at having lost his money, but he is friendly, co-operative when questioned and does not take his anger out on the police officer. He is also appreciative of the effort that the police offer makes to try to help him.

Which man would you be inclined to believe? What would your perceptions be of each man? Would you believe the angry aggressive man or would you be more inclined to believe and be sympathetic towards the other man?

Something to think about.

Hilary Thompson

The Out and About Therapist

Flourishing Relationships Retreats

Patience; what's that?

"Patience is a virtue" said my Grandmother to me, many years ago when I was a child. Patience seems to be one of those old fashioned values that appears to have been forgotten. Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to get what they want; or to go where they want to go and being patient is not part of it. No wonder so many of us are so stressed out.

Bird Rage
Hilary Thompson

 A prime example is the child in the Supermarket with it's mother. The child is grizzly and impatient. It wants a candy bar or some other item, so to shut the child up, it is given what it wants and is allowed to eat it before it has been paid for. I find this extraordinary behaviour on the part of the parent. 
This is not teaching the child about patience. It is just teaching the child that it can have what it wants when it wants it. A very selfish and self centered way of behaving. 


Having a lack of patience causes all sorts of stress in our lives. A good example of this is  Road Rage where motorists are so impatient that they attack others for apparently being in their way. 
People get angry about having to wait for just about anything these days. It is all crazy stuff and totally unnecessary. 

Patiently Waiting
Hilary Thompson

I saw these dogs when I was out and about the other day. They were patiently waiting for their owner to return to them. There was no barking, they were just quietly waiting. Every time they saw someone heading in their direction, they stood up and wagged their tails as if to say "is this our person?" And when it wasn't, they just sat and quietly waited. A wonderful example of patience.
We could all do with cultivating more patience. Being patient with ourselves and with others   is good for our health, mental and physical. It enhances our relationships with friends, family and work mates. In a nutshell; I believe Patience is essential for living a happy and healthy life.
Having trouble with being patient? Do you get angry easily? Contact me; I can help.
Hilary Thompson
The Out and About Therapist
And
Flourishing Relationships Retreat