Water Off A Ducks Back

Most of us, including me, at some time in our lives have experienced bullying. 
In the technological age that we live in Cyber-bullying is becoming more and more prevalent. According to what I have read and heard in the Media, parents, schools and the lawmakers are doing their best to tackle the problem.
Teaching Children and Teens to be responsible for how they use their phones and Internet and that there are consequences for making bad choices is very important, but it seems to me that they do not go quite far enough.


"Sticks and stones will break your bones but names will never hurt you." so my Grandmother used to say. It's an old adage, but there is a lot of truth in it. 
Words are just words and we all have a choice as to how we react to them. We can allow ourselves to get upset, or we can let bullying words be  "water off a Duck's back" and not allow ourselves to be hurt. 


We all talk about people being a "victim" of bullying. Suppose that we change "victim" to "recipient". Now we can choose to refer to people as a "recipient" of bullying instead. Can you see that by changing one word, the whole sentence has a different feel?  When we choose to  think of ourselves as a victim, the Bully takes our power and makes us feel bad. 
But if we choose to think of ourselves as a recipient, that put a totally different slant on how we feel about ourselves.
When  the recipient refuses to be upset by the bullying,  the Bully does not have any power over his or her target. 
People who  bully others must be tracked down and held accountable. However, as a recipient of bullying, we  also need to be accountable for the way we react . 
This I believe is  important to teach our young people. I understand that bad things said about us or to us can be hurtful, but only if we  choose to be hurt. 
Parents whose child is the recipient of Cyber-bullying have a choice as to how they react. This is a very important choice.
Parents who choose to create a drama about their child's bullying experience, run the risk of making their child feel worse. Chosing a calm and supportive attitude, including reinforcing that they will do their best to ensure their child's safety, can go a long way towards helping the bullied child to not be fearful or feel bad about themselves.


Help is available for those who have been bullied, to help them heal their pain and regain their self respect and power. The self help techniques that I teach are very effective.These techniques give my clients life long skills that empowers them to make better choices in the future.