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| Hilary Thompson The Out & About Therapist |
Word
Sense.
Every living being
on this planet uses some form of communication whether it is through body
movements or noises of some sort. We as Humans have taken communication to a
much higher level by developing speech. I might add here that a large part of
our communication with each other still relies on Body Language. But that is
not what I wish to talk about here. Maybe I will talk about Body Language in
another Newsletter, but today I want to talk about Words.
We all use words.
They are as much a part of us as breathing; and just like breathing we can not
do with out them.
I find words and
how they are used fascinating. For the most part, when we want to verbally
communicate with someone, we just open our mouths and let the words out without
really thinking about what we are saying and without understanding that if we
become more aware and deliberate in our use of words, we can obtain more
information, which leads to better understanding. And with understanding comes
insight and learning, which then takes our communication to a higher level.
One of the words
that we all use without thinking is the word “Don’t”. Now I find the use of
this word interesting as our subconscious mind does not recognize it and yet we
all use it all the time. For example, how often do we say to our partner or
spouse as they are leaving home to “Don’t forget to buy milk on your way home”
and then get upset when the milk does not arrive. Actually, what was registered
in the mind of the partner/spouse is “forget to buy the milk on the way home.”
Not their fault, it is just the way our brains are wired up. To change the
requests for milk to “Please remember to buy milk on your way home” asks the
person to remember to buy milk.
Now you have a
much better chance of getting the milk. I would like to add that saying “Do
Not” is fine; it’s the don’ts that are the problem.
It often amuses me
when you see adverts on the TV that are telling us about some special event and
then say “Don’t Miss Out” or some such phrase at the end of the ad. So to me,
the ad is saying “Miss Out”. I have to wonder how successful these advertisements
are as they are actually telling people not to take advantage of the special
offer that they are advertising!
Another word that
we all use without thinking is the word “Why”. We always want to know Why
something happened. The question Why just slips out of our mouths and the result is usually
either a shrug off or a huge story about something that gives us very little real
information. If, instead of using the question “Why” we ask questions starting
with What, When, Who, Where and How, we end up with a different kind of
response which gives us more information. Again, the more information we have,
the more understanding we gain and our communication becomes much better. For
example: Instead of asking “Why did you do it?” you could ask “What motivated
you to do it, and how did you feel when you were doing it?” By using What and
How, you are more likely to get some really useful information.
Those of you who
have participated in my communication workshops will be familiar with all of
this. Asking the right questions makes a huge difference to all sorts of
communication, especially when trying to resolve issues that are in our
personal or in our business lives. Questions used with skill and deliberation
can also help with enlisting co-operation and mediation; they can also be used
to protect ourselves when we are unexpectedly verbally attacked.
Becoming aware of
how we are using our words takes practice and as with everything, by practicing
we increase our level of skill. As communication is so vital when it comes to
having fulfilling relationships in all areas of our lives, it is well worth
the effort.
Just for fun, here
are some examples of the way words have been used in signage.
In this sign they have used the word “Don’t”,
so this tells me that they want you to throw your cigarette ends on the floor
to give the Cockroaches cancer.
I presume that the
intent of the sign is to stop smokers littering the floor with their cigarette
butts, but the message seems to me to be more focused on the health of the
Cockroaches!
This sign has to
be written with OH& S in mind, but I have to ask myself, what is the
purpose of it? Is it telling me to be aware of attack from sharp edges? I have
never seen a sharp edge attack anyone and anyhow, what on earth would you want
a sign like this for?
Here is another
sign where the words are interesting. I would not like to have an emergency
here, would you? I wonder how often they check their message bank!
Duh!
Here is a good one.
The wording has been well thought out and is one that everyone would benefit
from reading and taking on board.
My
communication workshop is held each time I have a group of people registered.
So if you would like to register your interest, please email me at:
My
services are not just for the locals. I offer an on-line service for
Relationships, Communication and Life Skills coaching via Skype, so I can work
with anyone anywhere. (The only exception is the USA
& Canada
Christmas is
nearly here!
My book “How to
Tame the Monkey in Your Mind” makes a nice Christmas gift. Go to my web site
and click on Books.
For unique Cards
and gifts go to my web site again, this time click on Shop then click on Visit
Our Store. Happy Shopping!
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