Thoughts on Valentine's Day

As we are all aware, today is Valentine's Day. I thought that it might be interesting to find out some of the history behind Valentine’s Day. So off I went to Wikipedia and found the following information:

Saint Valentine's Day, commonly shortened to Valentine's Day, is a holiday observed on February 14 honoring one or more early Christian martyrs named Saint Valentine. It is traditionally a day on which lovers express their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards (known as "valentines"). The day first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished.

Chaucer's love birds

Valentine's Day Card

The first recorded association of Valentine's Day with romantic love is in Parlement of Foules (1382) by Geoffrey Chaucer. Chaucer wrote:

For this was on seynt Volantynys day
Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make.

["For this was Saint Valentine's Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate."]

 This poem was written to honor the first anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia. A treaty providing for a marriage was signed on May 2, 1381. (When they were married eight months later, they were each only 15 years old).

Readers have uncritically assumed that Chaucer was referring to February 14 as Valentine's Day; however, mid-February is an unlikely time for birds to be mating in England. Henry Ansgar Kelly has pointed out that in the liturgical calendar, May 2 is the saints' day for Valentine of Genoa. This St. Valentine was an early bishop of Genoa who died around AD 307. Chaucer's Parliament of Foules is set in a fictional context of an old tradition, but in fact there was no such tradition before Chaucer.

So there you are; that’s the History lesson for today!

Valentine Hearts and Rose
Hilary Thompson

I love the idea that the people we love are given hearts and flowers etc; so that they know that we love them. However, I believe that we should not need a “special day” like Valentine’s Day to remind us to express our love.

We can have a “Valentine’s Day” any day of the year. A gift of flowers or some other small token given with a loving heart at any time of year is a beautiful thing.

We may have been with our spouse or life partner for years, but it is still important to show our love in ways that makes the other person feel loved and appreciated, not taken for granted. Here is an interesting question to ask to your spouse or partner: “What is it that I can do to make you feel loved and appreciated?” You may well find that the answer is not what you were expecting. However, the information is very useful. It may be that taking out the garbage makes your partner feel more loved than being given a box of chocolates; you never know until you ask.

 Hilary Thompson

The Out and About Therapist

Relationship Coach